Curious about how someone achieved those impressive curls? Here’s the story behind their fabulous ‘rizz

“Rizz,” a slang term for “charisma” and the Oxford Dictionary’s ‘Word of the Year’ for 2023, is a peculiar and elusive concept. On one hand, it’s an intangible quality that resists deep analysis (similar to how explaining a meme can make it lose its humor). On the other hand, it’s a readily recognizable trait. Rizz is that certain something – the look in your eye, the way your clothes fall just right, the knack for delivering jokes effectively. It’s akin to the more approachable relative of “cool.” Consider figures like Natasha Lyonne, Zendaya and Tom Holland, Sophie Turner, and Harry Styles.

What makes rizz great is that it’s unrelated to conventional attractiveness or financial success. Taylor Swift, for instance, possesses both good looks and considerable success, yet some might argue she lacks rizz. Intelligence is also not a determining factor; someone like Travis Kelce may exhibit signs of rizz. In theory, this means anyone can have rizz. However, some individuals may be more naturally inclined towards it, perhaps possessing a “rizz gene” or developing it in their formative years, similar to an attachment style. This can be frustrating for those naturally lacking in rizz, such as Elon Musk, who, despite his extensive acquisitions, cannot seemingly buy rizz.

Nevertheless, there are certainly ways to enhance your rizz. Bobby, a 25-year-old who has been frequently acknowledged for his rizz, attributes his success to getting along with everyone and having “little-to-no shame,” particularly beneficial in unfamiliar social settings. According to him, the key is not attempting too hard to emulate someone else but to authentically be yourself. “My rizz has grown exponentially as I’ve grown into myself,” he shares. Bobby advocates for expressing whatever is on your mind, not letting minor issues bother you, and doing what makes you feel good. His advice includes wearing clothes that boost your confidence, making eye contact during conversations, genuinely listening, and boldly complimenting people. He encourages seizing opportunities for smooth segues or clever lines when they come to mind.

Another friend, opting to remain anonymous, shares a similar sentiment. She has been acknowledged several times for her possession of rizz, evident in her ability to effortlessly land jokes, take the lead in karaoke, and maintain impeccable nails, among other qualities. Reflecting on the impact of rizz in unfamiliar situations, she says, “Rizz has definitely helped me out in situations where I haven’t necessarily known what I’m doing. I’m good at talking and I’m quite funny, so often in a situation where things are awkward – like a date where you don’t fancy each other – I’m generally good at having a good time regardless and finding some common ground to talk about… I’m good at reading a situation and behaving accordingly, and I do think that’s a big part of it.”

She offers advice to those aspiring to have rizz, emphasizing the importance of having a certain level of confidence and being somewhat delusional. She sees it as believing in your own unique qualities. Even on days when she doesn’t feel particularly confident, she mentions that, due to her practice in the art of rizz, she can summon it from somewhere within and usually rizz herself into feeling more confident. She highlights that having rizz doesn’t necessarily require physical attractiveness; often, attractive individuals may lack rizz because they haven’t had to make an effort beyond their looks. People with rizz, in her view, believe in their own unique qualities. Learning this mindset opens up new possibilities, and it’s about taking those initial steps.

Reisha, 29, concurs that rizz is closely linked to confidence. She shares, “I developed rizz from a very young age. I was quite a confident child, always more than happy to play alone, and I loved being the star of school plays. My rizz has definitely helped me in a lot of situations – when I’m anxious, I’m great at masking and giving off the impression that I’m ready to take on anything… if I were to offer advice to those who feel rizzless, I’d say, ‘put on an outfit that you’re comfortable with, and your energy will match your attire.'”